h0ldfast: Saturday June 23, 2012

i've just spent the last two hours cleaning house. it's been therapeutic. i also happened to spend the two hours before that shopping ... that was therapy, too : )

i love putting fresh sheets on a clean bed. i love a running dishwasher, a clean table with fresh flowers, a vacuumed carpet & swept floors. i like the fresh cool for june breeze that's blowing through the open windows.

i also happen to love 60% off sales at old navy & flip flops for my boys for a $1 : )

here's a line i scribbled down yesterday that i heard from a line of a song 'tomorrow freedom is today's surrender'

i've been letting that run through my head since.

here's another one that i wrote on the wall in our now clean room 'but GOD'

little chad calvin & i had a chat on the way to the store today on just how good God is.

He is good.

i know hard & hurt & pain. i know rough & things that don't make sense.

but God ....

but God anything, really.

and oh my goodness, is He good.

i cried this morning listening to molly pray at breakfast. she's the one around here who keeps track & makes sure we're praying for everyone ....

and if by chance we forget .... no worries, dolly's on it.

she prayed very simply for the little girls whose mommy went to be with Jesus last month. she thanked Jesus for their mommy & for them.

i think God got what she meant.

He is good.

it's the second afternoon in a row where it's just me, a sleeping 2 year old & a sleeping baby. so un-normal having everyone else gone.

grammy dates & birthday parties are the reasons they're all away.

on my desk right now sits my phone ... waiting for an hello text from rex. an old picture of jack as a baby. the mothers day card sailor made me. a red mug filled with good chap stick, coins & credit cards. chad's little tiny hospital band. a book i should be reading, my dead ipod shuffle. a black & white framed picture of molly, chad & i. a pay stub, info on traffic school & my latest shopping receipts. and a couple love notes from rex.

do you keep dark chocolate in your panty drawer? as of 17 minutes ago, i now do. dove dark chocolate.

last night ben got his pajamas on & then came out riding his fire truck. he 'raised the ladder' to stand up & give me a kiss goodnight, then in a flash picked the whole thing up and ran back to his room, he dropped one end about the time he got to the hall door & then dragged the end he was still carrying back the rest of the way.

how beautiful are 5 almost 6 year old little boys.

target! target has school supplies already. crayons, pencil boxes, cute new erasers & it's not even the 4th of july!! i walked around in shock. ask rex, he'll tell you : )

i was ready to scalp sailor today .... she's a bit of a pack rat. her spaces are so messy. she doesn't put away her clothes. she's so crazy creative. the little girls & i cleaned their closet today ... go ahead & read i cleaned their closet .... 2 & 4 year olds are good for many things, serious closet cleaning not being one of them. i uncovered what sailor was working on for rex for fathers day that she never quite finished or gave him.

i love that girl so fiercely.

- - -

look who went swimming for the very first time? i know, your thinking in a oneies, really? well he was just sitting on the edge with me & little dips of the feet lead to happy leg splashes, that lead to a wet diaper that lead to .....